Monday, October 9, 2017

The World





The world says that I have to pay attention
   To what it says must occupy my mind.
I have to be a cog in its convention
   Of relevance, or else I’m unrefined.
The world says that it is the arbiter
   Of what I should be seeing—doing—wearing—
For my own good. And so I must concur.
   If not, then I deserve to be despairing.
The world says that what it says matters more
   Than anything I say—and its approval
Is all I need to get me past Fame’s door.
   Without it, bouncers see to my removal.
      The world says I must give each waking thought
      To what it calls important—or I’m not.


They say the world will come to you if you
   Just keep doing the work, but that’s a lie.
It only comes when brought by someone who
   Sees something in it that he wants to buy.
They say the world will always notice talent,
   But talent is defined as flattery.
Sing the world’s praises; it will call you gallant
   And stay blind to your mediocrity.
They say the world will recognize great art,
   But that’s the greatest fiction of them all.
Works that have brilliance, vision, style and heart
   Are chaff if not sold at the shopping mall.
      They say the world decrees where worth begins—
      And every time we buy that, the world wins.


The world wins when it says "I am the one
   Who brands you with the tattoo of success.
You cannot shine unless it is my sun.
   Without my label, all is worthlessness."
The world wins when we say that we define
   Our own success, since that means we’re conceding
We’ve failed at the world’s game, and get to dine
   On our own praises, which is special pleading.
The world wins every time we factor in
   The world to an equation. It’s a term
Whose value changes what we’ve done or been
   Into an either or: winner or worm.
      The world wins when we seek out its affection—
      And wins big when we give it our rejection.


Rejecting the world means that we still care
   Enough about it to defend our work
Against its disapproval—its unfair
   Ignorance—its supercilious smirk.
Rejecting the world means we tried to win it
   Over to us, and then cried “Sour grapes!”
Because it wouldn’t give us half a minute,
   We bitch it out for days with gripes and japes.
Rejection feeds the world’s great vanity,
   For hatred’s just a hotter kind of loving.
Beneath its heat, it says you want to be
   Embraced and welcomed by the one you’re shoving.
      It doesn’t want her gone—it wants her sweet.
      Which makes rejection yearning in defeat.


The world can’t lose because the game is rigged
   To either make it win or make you fail.
It poisons every toast you’ve ever swigged.
   (I swear to God, it’s like the world is male.)
The world can’t lose because it is the court
   And judge and jury where worth’s law is passed—
That puts your name on Time’s final report
   And then rules whether you will fade or last.
The world can’t lose unless you just don’t give
   A shit what it thinks. Takes a special soul
To care so little for applause, and live
   Without what others cling to, and be whole.
      The world can’t lose unless, for all you love it,
      You vow always to be in it—not of it.


The world is everything, for those who look
   For someone else to tell them all the answers.
“Here’s the great movie!” “There’s the must-read book!”
   “That company may move, but they’re no dancers.”
The world is everything a vampire is—
   It needs your blood to live; it fills your head
With hungry dreams and condescension’s fizz;
   Then leaves you soulless, brainwashed, and undead.
The world is everything you’ve ever wanted—
   State-sanctioned virtue, tolerated vice,
The lure of fame whose absence leaves you haunted—
   And all you have to do is pay its price:
      Be the world’s champion, not its accuser—
      And then call anyone who is, a loser.


The world is just, or so it likes to think,
   And fair the way society is fair:
It serves the Ins a complimentary drink
   While telling all the Outs “I just don’t care.”
The world is just too proud to be disgraced
   Whenever someone says it might be biased.
It claims it’s just coincidence its taste
   Runs to the straightest, whitest, and the guyest.
The world is just another inner voice
   That tells us all the things we cannot do—
Praises us when we choose to give up choice
   And swears it’s champagne when we swig its brew.
      The world is just a low voice from on high
      That will praise nothing it can’t profit by.


The world is nothing more than a collection
   Of self-sustaining myths. It’s like a church.
Give it your worship; it gives you protection.
   Deny it; it will leave you in the lurch.
The world is nothing but an elevator—
   Once you’re in, upper floors are all you’ll see.
It guards the penthouse like it’s Joy’s dictator,
   Crying: “You must find happiness through me!”
The world is nothing less than a machine
   I have no control over, so why should
I think its ignorance of me is mean
   Or meant? Or that its praise of me is good?
      Why look for vision in what cannot see
      And always puts the vain in vainglory?


“The world is ours!” successful people cry.
   But they don’t ever own it—it owns them.
Its praise—and not their gifts—put them on high,
   And what it raises up, it can condemn.
The world is yours to do with as it pleases,
   But only when you choose to give it power.
And when it does deliver on its teases
   And kisses you, the aftertaste is sour.
The world is mine, when I can say to it
   “You don’t own me!” and mean it—every word—
Do what I will, not what it will permit—
   And be untroubled, not a fountain stirred,
      Each time the world thinks of new ways to fool me
      Into believing that its standards rule me.



Copyright 2017 Matthew J Wells



Anthill Blues


Sunday, October 1, 2017

A Month of Couplets - September 2017




From The Daily Couplet:
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9/1/17

The new is tar in which my thoughts will sink.
Boring routines will give me space to think.


9/2/17
Walk out of any room where there's no love
And write a tale that you're the hero of.


9/3/17

If I loved myself half as much as I
Love the unworthy, oh, how high I'd fly!


9/4/17

Safety is knowing what you'll do for weeks.
Adventure never sees beyond your cheeks.

9/5/17

The door I fear to open guards a room
Of terrible rewards, not pain and doom.


9/6/17

I love the new, but it's the same old game:
When strangeness beckons, I reach for the same.


9/7/17

In all of history, no one's been you.
Don't waste that doing what the rest can do.


9/8/17

You always know who misses you the most:
The great reach out; the rest fade like a ghost.


9/9/17

Want to make haters feel incompetent?
Treat all their insults like a compliment.


9/10/17

Anger congests us till we fume and sputter.
Forgiveness cleans out all that nasty clutter.


9/11/17

Those born to a belief may be dogmatic
But converts live their creed like a fanatic.


9/12/17

Escape in fiction gets looked down on by
The jailers who say all art must be high.


9/13/17

Fear whispers--my soul sinks beneath the floor.
But just a breath of hope can make it soar.


9/14/17

The more we feed the hate of push and shove,
The less we listen to the voice of love.


9/15/17

(After Blaise Pascal)

All mankind's woes are meat on this one bone:
We can't sit quiet in a room alone.


9/16/17

Compassion weaves when heartless cuts the cord.
When hate is king, love is the rebel's sword.


9/17/17

It's only when I'm all alone and free
That I feel like I'm in bad company.


9/18/17

When my corrupted drives are all cleaned out,
There's still the back-up server of self-doubt.


9/19/17

The things that hurt us most we'll call a treasure
And let them kill us--if they give us pleasure.


9/20/17

It's Life when every answer to our cries
Is just another question in disguise.


9/21/17

It's all about what solitude can teach us
And those who care enough to try to reach us.


9/22/17

Shame is a cannibal--it always eats
Itself, till you're weighed down by your defeats.


9/23/17

Speak tolerance to hate--he never hears it
Because it's loving, and because he fears it.


9/24/17

Power responds to rebels with complaints
By killing them—then making them its saints.


9/25/17

Never tell narcissists that you adore them--
Because it's what they want to hear, you'll bore them.


9/26/17

The high road will become your status quo
When you ditch those who make you take the low.


9/27/17 

Fools take for granted their deep friends' ovation
And fish the shallows for appreciation.


9/28/17

The hardest things in life to let go of
Are those that cling to my lack of self-love.


9/29/17

Obey this sign and lift depression's fog:
DO NOT FEED THE NEGATIVITY DOG.


9/30/17

The world says I must give each waking thought
To what it calls "important"--or I'm not.


Copyright 2017 Matthew J Wells

Monday, September 18, 2017

Life In 28 Lines




My life's a map of places that can hide me
But none of them protect me like they should.
I talk to friends as if they're here beside me
But they can't say more than I think they would.

This loneliness is colder then December.
I just hear echoes every time I pray.
I cling to all the good times I remember,
Then wonder why the future slips away.

Each dawn arrives with something to upset me.
By sunset, it defeats me or I grow.
I think the universe is out to get me--
It really likes to tell me where to go.

And every time the moment's crystal clear,
Life is a voice that says "You can't stay here."


No matter where I move, it's a direction.
No matter where I wind up, it's a stand.
Even when I'm withdrawn, it's a connection.
Even when it's spontaneous, it's planned.

Each false step that I take is done to teach me
That I am my own life's most dearest foe.
Each true step sees a goal that wants to reach me--
And when it does, I'll be the last to know.

For knowledge is just ignorance times pride
And learning is a never-ending road.
And even if I travel with a guide,
He passes on a wisdom that's in code--

And every pitfall where I stumble proves
To be the right kind of all the wrong moves.



Copyright 2017 Matthew J Wells

Thursday, September 14, 2017

Broken Eggs



            for Coley Campany



A broken egg reflects upon its mother.
It can't just happen; it must have a cause--
Some flaw, some wrong in her, something or other
That desecrated one of Nature's laws.

A broken egg means heads must look away
And hearts grow cold that used to warm the best,
And those who failed must all, day after day,
Get schooled by those who never took the test.

A broken egg means someone must have dropped it--
Some loser who can't do the simplest jobs.
It didn't--couldn't--hatch, because she stopped it--
A useless piece of damaged goods who sobs.

So says the world, taking away your voice
By telling you that it’s unspeakable,
What happened—that it was somehow your choice,
And you should feel guilt by the bucketful.

A broken egg declares that you're no good
And never will be, because you are broken--
A guilty member of a sisterhood
Of shame, where all your grief must be unspoken.

So speak out. Tell the world how loss has driven
You to an understanding of Life's worth--
That new souls are a gift, and not a given
And all that gets delivered is a birth--

That yes, there's sisterhood, but never shame,
For what they really share is something deep:
Faith based on loss, acceptance without blame,
Compassion that could make an angel weep--

And love, whose strength is born for all to see
In mothers touched by Life's fragility.



Copyright 2017 Matthew J Wells