Monday, June 8, 2009

Weekend Update

Drag Me To Hell. The movie opens with the old 1980s version of the Universal logo, so right off the bat you know just where Sam Raimi is coming from, what he’s going to throw at you, and where he’s throwing it: right into your face. Remember the good old movie days of yelping with fright at the same time you’re laughing at over-the-top gross-outs? They’re back! The only thing that’s missing to make this the perfect 80’s horror movie experience is the Long Island Hair on the women.

Terminator: Regurgitation Salvation. If you loved Christian Bale’s intense Batman growly voice, then you are going to jizz in your pants over this flick. If you liked the first two Terminator movies, however, it’s definitely gonna be a dry hump, because this is yet another WGAS prequel where nothing can happen to anybody because they all have to show up in a movie directed by James Cameron. It has plot holes you can dump nuclear waste in, and they’re so deep that the radioactivity will decay into lead before the stuff hits bottom. So yeah, this is right up there on the prequel scale with The Two Musketeers, Prince Kong, and Quasimodo: The Early Years. As for the title, I have no idea what they actually saved here. Nobody’s career, that's for sure. And not the franchise either. Maybe money.

The Hangover. Could somebody please go into the AMC 25 Theatre in Times Square and look for my ass? Because I laughed it off watching this movie.

The Tonys. Wanna know why theatre rules? Neil Patrick Harris got up in front a live Radio City Music Hall audience at 11:05 and sang a parody of "Tonight" which rattled off the evening's Tony Award winners, in perfect meter and rhyme--a song that couldn't have even been written before 10:45, and he sang it like he had rehearsed it for weeks. THAT, my friends, is why stage actors have it all over film actors, okay?

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