Monday, March 21, 2011

How to have a better Sunday than I did

Never discuss your ex-girlfriends over dinner before seeing Marie & Bruce. You will walk out of the show thinking that Wallace Shawn read your mind when he was writing it.

Never walk out of a depressing play about marriage thinking about your current social life. You will invariably decide to take the next step with the woman you’re currently interested in.

Never decide to take the next step with the woman you’re currently interested in. She will send you an e-mail within 24 hours entitled “Please don’t hate me.”

Never open any e-mail entitled “Please don’t hate me.” You know exactly what it’s going to say. And you could probably say it better yourself.

Never reply to any e-mail entitled “Please don’t hate me.” For the same reason you don’t offer a shark your left arm after he’s chewed off your right one.

Never delete any e-mail entitled “Please don’t hate me.” You can always use it in a play.

No comments: